I am not going to lie, this song's lyrics came out at a bit of a dark moment. Coming here to my parents house after all the pandemic stuff happened is all a bit depressing. All normal work stuff has gone caput for me these past few months and that's just left me a bit feeling like a loser. This song is just about grappling with that kind of stuff and looking at a closed envelope and what it represents. I played and recorded it on my childhood acoustic, the entire song doesn't use the big E string on the guitar so that is where that line came from. Coming back home Feeling awfully alone Love from mother All in all my parents help At this age now Shouldn't I shouldn't I have it all in place At this time now Strumming away at a childhood guitar Cracked wood, broken piece of shit With an E string missing Laying on the Cool quiet basement floor Hearing mother Talking away on the phone At this point now Shouldn't I shouldn't I have some savings At this moment Thinking back at a college degree Cartridge paper laying there still Please don't bend

I had the melody of this song for a month or so but I never managed to put some lyrics that I liked to it. It had this kind of dread-y circular melody that I didn't really know what to do with it. The chord progression is actually quite unusual for me as it's not really in a specific key. Going from C minor and the to F and G major. Anyway, the lyrics have come out of this frustration from the government's idea that everything should be "back to normal". Branding the Saturday that pubs reopened in England as "Super Saturday". Get a life, come alive Feel the heat of summer Get a life, come alive Crawl out of your bunker now Feel the breeze feel the fun Super Saturday for everyone Get a life, come alive Flowers are in blossom Get a life, come alive Different shapes and colours There's a plane flight overhead Tail colours red, white and blue Get a life, come alive Don't forget the lager Get a life, come alive Plexi at the counter Round stickers on the floor Forget the gel forget the Dead meat packaged in plastic Thin cloth fogging up your glasses I'm not used to so many people anymore Get a life, come alive Feel the heat of summer Get a life, come alive Crawl out of your bunker now

Sometimes you write about situations that happened to you a long time ago. This one is such a case. We had a party in the woods and I got a little too drunk. Along with getting too wet at one point I burnt my shoe. I was too cold and kept going closer to the fire and as I was too busy talking to a girl my shoe ended up on fire. I guess I was too absorbed talking with a pretty girl to notice that my foot was on fire. You saw me naked in the stream The inebriation helped with the cold The campfire was burning tall I don't know how we weren't found out at all Someone helped me out the mud It took me ages to find my clothes The sound system was pounding away I'd hope you wouldn't see me in this state I couldn't find my drink I couldn't find my jeans anywhere I dreamt of taking you here in the day time I'd reach out for your hand and hold it tight You wouldn't believe what I'd have to say We'd sit in the grass and stare away Talking about the boats talking about the geese Silhouette by the water silhouette by the trees You're alway late at parties Why does the time I peak early be the exception

I've always liked meta songwriting, but for some reason I have always thought I couldn't do it very well, and maybe I still can't you can be the judge. This melody and the initial two lines I had from a while back, actually from last year and only recently I rediscovered the demo of it and figured I should flesh it out. I was listening to a lot of Sidney Gish at the time and in my head it was a ripoff of her style. Didn't really pan out that way and I suppose that is the point. Is this just a ripoff or I'm I singing from the heart? I can't tell the difference anymore I'm sorry Sidney please forgive me Oh help me I need a connection Oh help me I'll change my inflextion Is this just a ripoff or I'm I singing nothing but the truth The line seems to blur more and more Oh fuck you is this really a few cents off Oh fuck you does it really make a difference for you I'm probably just bitter now of running in circles Do we really need this bridge for the verses I think I've started to run out of things to say But I I keep chugging at it I I keep chipping at it I I keep trucking at it Now And again and again and Is this just a ripoff or an another silly sad attempt At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At making something new today that was here yesterday At all

I don't know what it is about writing songs involving bodies of water but there you go. Particularly having an embarrassing experience involving a body of water. I know for these songs I was planing to have a super stripped down sound but this was a year old or something song that I only had one verse for. I listened to it today by accident while going through some old files and I figured I could make this one the song of the day. Help me break the spell Help me leave the well Drown me into sleep Hold me to the weeds I see you by the stones I feel it to the bone Rushing past my feet Calling me here Hold up river swan Hold up for me Cut my foot on the edge See the burst of red Shoot right up to the brain Bite my tongue hold the pain I see you by the trees Are they laughing at me The blood starts to thin Downstream Hold up, I want to know Hold up, what's your name?

This song is a think back at a few months ago when I was stuck in quarantine. This one came out a little wonky but hey it is what it is. The beads of sweat are coming down again It's only so much the skylight opens There's only so many teas one can make The empty bottles start to pile up How much TV does one have to watch To forget how much TV they are watching I start to become someone else You say you don't remember yourself The same feeling creeps in I can't follow the dialog I know it's hard to be alone I know it's hard to keep it up Sometimes I want to shut it all off Sit back relax watch another episode The same thoughts creep in I can't follow the subtitles I just want to be another part of me I wanna be another part of me I wanna be another part of me I wanna be another part of me

Last night I had a dream about someone that I haven't spoken to in like 3 years. It kinda got me nostalgic and on my morning walk I started thinking too much about the past. These kind of dreams tend to do that to me. It's strange, I think my ultimate fantasy is to wake up one day and be like more than 10 years young and just fix all my mistakes. It's strange, I don't even think I've messed up that bad, but I guess I like the idea of ironing out all my problems. But let's face it, if that actually became a reality I'd probably mess up just as much as I have the first time around so I'd be back to square one. I had a dream I held you hand You face has started to blur You seemed to be quiet and despondent I smiled too much and kept close We waited by the sidewalk Your friends didn't even bother to show up My friends stood around and looked alarmed I don't know what they were worried about It made me think of how I fucked it up It made me think of what I got right I didn't offer you a drink You laughed at my jokes I was too drunk to stick around You sat me with I always wear the same old clothes You pulled too hard at my hoodie string I can't, I can't, seem to, let go I can't, I can't, seem to, let go I had similar dreams in the past They make me sad and think back You seem quiet in all of them I don't know how to cheer you up It made me think of when I fucked it up It made me think of what did right Helping you out with the printing Talking to you on the phone Sharing all of my feelings way to late Being happy I did anyway You came to my party and meet your new boyfriend I've heard you broke up with that prick I still have his polaroid somewhere He was wearing sunglasses indoors I can't, I can't, seem to, let go I can't, I can't, seem to, let go

Today was a really tough one for the "creative juices". I tried starting out this morning trying to re-write lyrics to an old song that had some shitty non-sense lyrics and nothing came of that. I tried this way and that and then I gave up and said "fuck it, I'll just try another song". I hit a wall there too, this other song that had place holder lyrics I was stuck on it too. For neither of them I couldn't figure out what the songs should be about. I tried a third song and even that to no avail. I was almost ready to give up and as I was lying on my bed I started strumming my guitar and came up with the basic guitar pattern of this song. Being at my parents house I noticed my high school yearbook on the shelf yesterday and looked it through. And so pushing and pulling I managed to get something out, it was difficult and I am not completely happy with the end result but there you go. This song is some of the thoughts that went through my mind as I went through that yearbook. Join the faces to the names They seem frozen on the page First time I said them out loud In some years now Reading through the signatures "We've had some laughs in math" Well I'm not sure about that But you're probably right And I still feel the need to prove myself To the people who don't even remember me well And I still feel the need to prove them wrong On suspicions they have never had at all We get to the dreaded page Its the picture next to James Row three column five You're still frozen in time I get shot right back To when I saw you last Waiting nervously by the pool He said I looked fat And I still feel the need to prove myself To the people who don't even remember me well And I still feel the need to prove them wrong On suspicions they have never had at all I'd wonder who you'd be If you didn't become me

Yesterday I was feeling this song pretty hard. I wrote it today but I guess I just wrote down what I was feeling now. Sometimes the idea of doing almost anything feels like a unsurmountable task. When the numbers by the squares Feel more like a chore than anything else I'll get on it, later I can't do anything for myself Let alone something for anybody else Today feels like a right off The herculean tasks of old A shower, toothbrush and a empty bottle Of shampoo It feels like the morning but my phone doesn't seem to agree with me Empty cans sitting by the floor Next to me In my confusing I just stare up At the ceiling I think I'll just continue to lie here Down down down down Down down down down Down down down down Down down down down

I am not going to lie, today I didn't think I was going to make it writing a song. The morning started out badly where I didn't end up doing my morning walk due to laziness and then the entire time until lunch I just didn't do anything and watch youtube videos. In the afternoon I got some other work done and then I randomly went back upstairs thinking "oh maybe I might but probably not". I was already feeling the anticipation of disappointment, but strangely enough I started playing the fingerpicking pattern of this song and it quickly came out. A little mood poem about two people's private conversation. It's been really hot here and I have been sweating (literally) every second of writing and recording this song. The sun seeps in through the leaves I get back up as it's getting itchy I check my jeans for a stain I check my jeans for a stain You say you come here to be alone I feel intrusive I shouldn't have come You say it's ok this time You say it's ok this time I don't think you've shown anyone The nook in the trees, the golden sun You whistle away to your song You whistle away to your song It's starts with a murmur but I know you mean it You've rehearsed it over again and again It's not the truth that hurts But the simplicity of your words The simplicity of your words

I hope this one is quite self explanatory. I've been in this situation too any times. You are coming home from a party or something and it's cold, its miserable and you're groggy. Why is London so big? I think I kinda like this one, I might end up re-recording it properly and fixing a few lyrics here and there. I wish you'd call me when I'm drunk Then I'd never be alone I wish you'd call me when down And sooth me out Walking through these empty streets I didn't bring a jacket I guess that's my fault I wish you'd call me when I'm stuck Waiting here at this bus stop i wish I could just hear your voice Instead of that car alarm Google maps has fucked me over again I'll never you ever again But I got to make it back home I got to make it back home Yes I gotta make it back home Somehow I wish you'd call me as I walk Was it really worth it I wish you'd talk about your day And I'll forget mine House party are hit an miss I smell of smoke, I don't smoke I've nursed a beer for to long Fuck I've lost my flask What was James on? What did his friend go on about? Why didn't you come? I only came because I though you were coming too But I got to make it back home Yes I got to make it back home Yes I got to make it back home Somehow London can sure punch you the face

This song comes from a trip I did to see someone a few years ago. Back then the idea that a few years later I would write a song about seeing this person at Gare du Nord in Paris would have sounded ridiculous. Maybe I should try to dig a bit deeper in trying to write about my past rather than my more recent past. I feel like this song is a song that I should flesh out a bit more with a proper rock band type arrangement. I should also add a chorus and fix some of the awkward lines. I bought a ticket It was a quick impulse decision but it seems I'm going to Paris, I'm going to see you I wonder if your hair is still long But I can't keep up doing nothing feeling nothing All of the time And I can't keep up doing something feeling nothing All the rest You asked me to buy special cigarettes The kind you don't have there I thought they were all the same Arn't they all equally bad But I can't keep up building something feeling nothing All of the time And I should keep up building something Having it all blow up You'll never know this song is about you Song is about you Song is about you You'll never know this song is about you Maybe that's for the best I'm finally feeling something As I see you waiting there You compliment my shoes Nobody has ever liked these terrible shoes

I've missed a few days, these past few days I travelled back from my parents house to my room in London. Not going to lie I became a bit lazy particularly these past two days and I did the bare minimum to get on with my day and that kinda what's the song is about really. That and how I and I think a lot of people have been feeling during lockdown and in isolation in general. But now that I am back in London I think I am going to start a new demo series as I feel this one has run it's corse and done what it was supposed to do. Since I have access to my practice space I will probably start recording some demos of louder faster paced songs. It's hard to tell you All of the truth When your behind the screen It's hard to let you know When you don't ask So directly As I pace up and down my room And I look for something to focus on Let me be somewhere With someone other than myself Let me be somewhere With someone other than myself Cause I'm here but I not at all Yes I'm here but I not at all It takes much longer now To reply To text messages Those numbers fill me up With dread More than anything else As I type something out and erase it I'm much more comfortable with a joke instead Let me be somewhere With someone other than myself Let me be somewhere With someone other than myself Cause I'm here but I not at all Yes I'm here but I not at all

I wish it could all stop right now I'd say you have enough It sure doesn't seem fair at all As you're lying there oh so tired I heard it sure be over by now I wish I could share some of your burden I wish I could just take it out and make you A little bit better I wish could make you a little bit better I wish could make you a little bit better I wish could make you a little bit better I wish could make you a little bit better